Much is made of Nigel Farage's disposition and the way he portrays himself as 'one of the lads'.
People talk about how he has a pint in his hand and goes to the pub, like it's akin to a first class degree in relationships. Whoopee - Cameron goes to the pub too but he doesn't use it as a badge that says 'I'm normal'!
When I get on a plane, I don't want to be greeted by a pilot who's 'one of the lads' and gives you a wink as you enter his den. I don't want to listen to an incoherent accent that I might not understand when it comes to any emergency instructions.
No, I want a composed, poised, confident, well educated, well spoken, well trained experienced pilot who focuses on the destination and when things go wrong he or she knows exactly what to do in a calm and effective way, making decisions that could save lives.
If people want Nigel Farage they'd better know what he would do when it comes to landing in a storm, with one wing dipped downwards and the other upwards requiring an emergency re-take off feet from the ground of Luton, whilst passengers are screaming that we're all going to die. (Sorry, just reliving a dreadful experience - but gratitude to a wonderful pilot who didn't speak for 15 minutes while he focused on saving all our lives).
I don't want a captain of a ship who decides he is 'one of the boys' by doing a sail-by to salute onlookers in an endeavour to impress the ladies, resulting in hundreds of people dying.
I just don't want 'one of the boys'. I don't need someone who shows us he drinks, burps and calls everyone else a politician when he is the biggest one of all, an MEP, no less and rakes it in more than the next guy.
People have said to me that I'm a 'real' person as a politician and would make a great PM.
No, I wouldn't! I'm far too outspoken, cockney, maverick, passionate (not a bad thing but has to be in small doses - I don't do small doses). Once the novelty wore off, people would be screaming for me to step down. I'd probably end up causing a riot somewhere! I know my limitations.
Be careful what you wish for people of Clacton - I was there Saturday in Wheeley and you were fantastic.
I was invited in for a cup of tea, more times that day than the whole of my canvassing years in Ipswich put together.
And Giles - if you read this - go and see that lady called Joy whose details I gave to the campaign centre in Wheeley. Fantastic woman who needs help and gave me a lovely big hug when I left her house.
I am trusting the people of Clacton to understand what they really are voting for when they vote UKIP - it will not be a UKIP government or even more than a handful of UKIP MPs but you might just let the worst of all scenarios be a reality next year.
Milliband is not even 'one of the boys'. In fact is he even of this planet? Clegg is a nice enough guy but not half as clever as his beautiful wife.
And as much as I love Boris, Theresa May is now looking more of a leader and PM in waiting than he is.
There's only one man who fits the description of the Captain who can steer the ship in the right direction.
Luckily, that's who we've got.
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