The EU referendum is becoming a bit repetitive and waspish but in some ways I'm pleased to see the passion and worry from both sides of the camp.
Much worse would've been total apathy and a reluctant PM giving us a referendum with an assured look that we would be voting to remain. He is rightly concerned that Brexit is gaining momentum and could become the bookies favourite come 23rd June.
I have waited many years for the opportunity to leave the EU, which I consider to be a failed socialist project loved by socialists and the poorer members. If I thought this experiment meant that this Robin Hood of Europe would create some sort of paradise for all its members, even if some of the richer countries suffered a little, I would be congratulating Merkel et al and marching with the In Camp - but it isn't. It is a mess.
However, I'm not writing this to talk about all the things I hate about EU or the fact that I love Europe probably more than any other continent, because it is not the point. I am a future person, not a past, and we could debate until the cows come home all the merits or negatives of EU.
My decision is not based on economical factors - I do not believe that there will be any lasting damage from Brexit, far from it but even if that were so I would still vote out. My vote is about sovereignty and what is most important to me and my family.
My top values are Freedom, Justice, Fairness, Confidence and Empowerment.
Do I feel a sense of these as an individual? - Yes
Do i feel a sense of these as a country? - NO
Do I feel leaving will cause some problems ?- Yes
Will it be worth it? - YES and especially long term.
I am not prepared to risk the future of my grandchildren in an ever closer union, nor am I willing to risk the safety of my grandchildren with open borders in this dangerous world we live in.
There is no freedom in being ruled by unelected bureaucrats, nor justice in not being able to create ALL our own laws, sending people back to their original country when they want to do us harm.
There is no confidence in the Eurozone, with its currency crushing the likes of Greece who would do so much better if it had its own. There's no fairness or freedom in not being able to trade with other non-EU countries, irrespective of the mutual benefit it would bring. Or of the rules and regulations that saw the destruction of our fishing industry, steel industry and proper competition.
And there is no empowerment if we think, as a great nation that we are, that we cannot fare well without EU membership. I don't consider my country as a bystander or a follower but a leader in the world of many things - finance, music, creativity, inventions - why do we need to be a member ruled by a big club to walk the path of huge success?
My family are Italian and I was born here. When I am in Italy I feel English, When I am here, at home, I feel Italian - such is the strength of my culture and how I was brought up - And I love it!
I want those different cultures to remain. I love the similarities and the differences and I welcome immigration - controlled immigration.
But there are some cultures that totally clash with ours and I fear new memberships will bring chaos to our shores, terrorists who, in the future, will have EU memberships and be able to move here, live amongst us and plot. ISIS are patient - they are happy to wait years building up trust in their communities. To deny this is not an option we can risk. Many on the left poo pooed me when I said that jihadis would be hiding among the refugees travelling into Germany - I think they know different now and I'm truly sorry that the totally obvious was not obvious to others - Merkel will never be forgiven by her people for changing the face of Germany forever. Whereas we were more measured, thank goodness - this is only a short term reprieve for us if we Remain.
The Paris bombing showed us all how free movement can allow the perpetrators to disappear into another EU country with total ease. Do you want this? If so, that is the price we will pay, for what? There is no peace that can be credited to the EU - I would say there is argument for the opposite, the state it's in now - we will not go to war with France or Germany just because we leave - that is laughable. We will still share intelligence, like we do with other non-EU countries. But what we do have now are daily riots, dismayed residents and a time bomb ticking away - in my ear anyway.
Then you get the really silly stuff:
I've heard that some are worried about holidays abroad, if we leave the EU! - such ignorance is not to be laughed at because these are probably young people who haven't known a life before our membership. I can assure them that I travelled abroad 50 years ago as a small child on a yearly basis, on a passport, quite freely, as I do now.
Ex pats will not be asked to leave, nor will we ask our new friends who live here to leave - we will just ensure that we control and monitor far more than we do now.
Why would we want to be associated with such a negative and toxic brand as the EU? We will still be able to trade freely, as we have always done, we will still be able to buy property, as we always have done (and do outside of EU) and we will still be situated next to Europe with all the potential that it brings. the UK will not float down the Sea and plonk itself outside the USA.
Then you get Harriet Harman saying that withdrawal will cause the halt of women;s rights! Really? I didnt know the suffragettes were part of the EU or Margaret Thatcher becoming PM needed the permission of Brussels. How very very weird and ridiculous.
Enough of all this silliness - it hurts my sense of intelligence and intuition. It is all so unEnglish.
By leaving we will also shine some light for the rest of Europe - that they too can have that choice to leave, if that is what's best for them. At the very least EU will have to ask themselves some very serious questions and out of the ashes could come a phoenix that could transform the EU into something brilliant and long lasting.
I will accept the decision and move on, once we have decided but if it is Remain, I will grieve for a while for the loss of our one opportunity to be bold and empowered - to feel free, whatever that brings. I will find it hard that my people chose to be scaremongered into making one of their best, most bold decision to date. The romantic notion that the EU is 'better the devil you know' will leave a bitter taste in my mouth - but I will accept it immediately and move on.
However I don't think UKIP will and you can expect a surge upwards of this party if that is the case.
No-one knows what will happen despite what any camp may say - it is a question of values, instinct and the knowledge you have shifting into your intuition. This is one that requires a vote from the gut, I think.
And my gut has not wavered on this one. Brexit is the light at the end of the Chunnel..